February 15, 2008

Some days it’s not even worth chewing through the restraints…

…at least, not with a ridiculously persistent head cold.  Then, however, the Interwebs kick up some crazy little gem that makes it all good.  I got this piece of spam today and was unreasonably amused (names omitted to protect the guilty):

Dear John, I am a recruiter for the xxxx Casket Company and I am interested in networking with you.  I am currently seeking a 2 Product Managers (Wood Product Line, Accessories Product Line). Our headquarters is located in [BFE], Indiana, which is commutable from both [cold places where you no longer live]. xxxx Casket Company is more than the world’s leading producer of premium caskets and cremation products, we set the standard for success and productivity. […] I am hoping that you might know of other Product Managers that I could network with that might be interested in exploring these exciting job opportunities!  If you are interested in this position, I also welcome that conversation.  Here are a couple of websites that might be helpful when passing along my contact information: [xxxx]. I appreciate your help in advance and look forward to hearing from you!  Sincerely, [xxxx]

Man, what am I still doing here typing?  Who in his right mind wouldn’t give up Photoshop for Wood Casket Accessories Product Line Manager?  It’s the job of a lifetime–specifically, the end of many other people’s lifetimes.  My ship has finally come in–woo hoo!  Adios, suckkaz!! ;-)

Posted by John Nack at 6:10 PM on February 15, 2008

Comments

  • Jason Baldwin — 7:09 PM on February 15, 2008

    By [BFE], I assume you mean Batesville.
    [That’s the one. –J.]
    It’s more than a little creepy to pass one of their trucks on the interstate, an occurrence that happens more often than you might think.

  • Ben — 7:11 PM on February 15, 2008

    Aurora Casket Company?
    [Nope, go fish. –J.]

  • Kenneth Berger — 7:27 PM on February 15, 2008

    Yes, I got this as well! Amazing.

  • keith — 8:27 AM on February 16, 2008

    Speakin’ o’ caskets, a student in my last retouching class works for a cemetery and she uses PS to do mock ups for headstones.
    Yep, select your headstone thingy & she’ll put your name on on it, using PS.

  • Bryn — 12:56 PM on February 16, 2008

    oooh oooh me! me! first one to indiana claims the prize (job)

  • Mike Early — 4:41 PM on February 16, 2008

    I don’t know John, sounds like a dead-end job to me……
    [A grave situation, to be sure. Best to keep a lid on it. –J.]

  • Robert — 6:21 PM on February 16, 2008

    OTOH, until you’ve tried our embalming fluid, you haven’t lived!
    [I’m dying to try it. (Oh yes, we can go on all day like this…!) –J.]

  • Dave Story — 2:32 PM on February 17, 2008

    What, not feeling “boxed in” enough?
    If it helps, it turns out folks did studies of which produces fewer greenhouse gases, being cremated, or decomposing slowly 2m underground….turns out decomposing slowly wins.
    Just think of your innovative solutions selling around that, plus a few “fewer greenhouse gases” chemical additions you could make to the caskets.
    Your future … it’s all downhill from here. :)
    Dave

  • Mordy Golding — 6:11 PM on February 17, 2008

    Hee hee… I posted something along the same lines a while back… http://rwillustrator.blogspot.com/2007/09/bit-of-humor.html
    [ ;-) –J.]

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